One Night 4 college students were playing football till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.

See Below for the question Paper

Q.1. Your Name…….. ……… ……… (2 MARKS)
  

    
Q.2.. which tire burst? (98 MARKS)
a) Front Left           b) Front Right
c) Back Left            d) Back Right

True story from IIT Bombay ….Batch 1992

A story by a girl.

"When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.

On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed!

Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school. I don ' t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember Watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad For burning the toast. And I ' ll never forget what he said: ' Baby, I love burned toast. '

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if He really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, ' Debbie, your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she’s real tired. And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone! ‘You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I 'm not the best housekeeper or cook. '

What I’ve learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other ' s differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of GOD. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker!

We could extend this to any relationship in fact – as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!! "

"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket but into your own." See through God’s eyes and feel through God ' s heart And you will appreciate the value of every soul including yourself.

1.  Tumse pyaar karte karte hamne kar diya crime....
     Tumse pyaar karte karte hamne kar diya crime....
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." 1 is neither composite nor prime"

   

  2. Agar dava chahiyetoh dhundo koi chemist....
   Agar dava chahiyetoh dhundo koi chemist....

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My NAME IS KHAN and I AM NOT A TERRORIST...

   
3.  yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....
     yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....

   

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  Cameraman praful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK..

   
4.. Arj kiya hai..

     He is KISSING
   She is KISSING

   
    He is KISSING
   She is KISSING

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* * *Some test missing
* * *some text missing

  5. woh mujhe chod ke chali gayi usse pana mein chahun....
    woh mujhe chod ke chali gayi usse pana mein chahun....
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ahun ahun ahun
ahun ahun ahun

   

  6.mehgai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
   mehgai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
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 ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh babu...

   
7. Akbar ne kharide 3-3 ghode..
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aja aja dil nichode ....
raat ki matki phode...

   
8.mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan...
   mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan..
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LIFEBUOY hai jahan tandurusti hai wahan...

   
9. Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna...
    Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna...
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"BASANTI in kuton ke samne mat nachna...."

   
10 . Ratan tata ne establish kiya TATA..
       Ratan tata ne establish kiya TATA..
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     "itni sakti hamen dena data "

   

   

  (1)Emotional Shayari…
Arz kiya hai…
Ab toh Zindagi ka maksad hai tujhe apnana…
Ab toh Zindagi ka maksad hai tujhe apnana…
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A for Apple B for Banana…
WAH WAH…!!
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(2)Arz kiya hai…
Kal tak thee jo meri present…
Kal tak thee jo meri present…
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Aaj ho gayee hai past…
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Kal tak thee jo meri present…
Aaj ho gayee hai past…
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Offer valid till stocks last..  :-P
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  (3) Arz kiya hai…
Bakre ne maara jo bakri ko seeng……
Bakre ne maara jo bakri ko seeng……
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Toh Bakri bhi maregi bakre ko seeng.
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(4)Arz kiya hai…
Baith kar girlfriend ki Zulfon ke saaye mai aisa josh aaya…
Wah-Wah, Wah-Wah…
Baith kar girlfriend ki Zulfon ke saaye mai aisa josh aaya…
;
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Ki   Uske papa ne dekh liya aur ICU mai hosh aaya…
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  (5)

  Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...
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Waah! Waah!
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Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...

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  "Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ..!!"
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  (6)
Teacher to student : 1 chiku ke ped pe 10 kele lage hai, usme se 5 aam gir gaye , to btao ab kitne angoor bache…

  Raju : Sir 10 hathi bache…

  Teacher:  Arrey waah, tumhe kaise pata chala

   

   
Raju : Kyunki aaj main tiffin mein methi ke pronthe laaya hun..
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  (7)

  Romio ne juliet se  kaha ek sach
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Romio ne juliet se  kaha ek sach
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.Asali masale sach sach
 MDH.....MDH ...!
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(8)

   
Ek Kana Ladka Kisi ladki ko Propose kare to kaun sa gana Gayega???????

   
???????????????

  !!!
!!!
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Ek Nazar se bhi Pyar Hota hai Maine suna Hai............................................
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(9)

   A scientist disconnected his doorbell.......

  can u guess why???

  ????
try

  think!!!

  donno???
cuz
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!!!!!!!!

  he wanted to win the No-bell prize!!!!!!!!!! :P
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  (10)

  Salma ke pyaar me doob gaya Peter

  Gaur farmaiye

  Salma ke pyaar me doob gaya Peter
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  Ab hero Honda splendor 80 kilometer prati leter
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  (11)

  1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss
1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss

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Mutual funds are subjected to market risks……!!!!
Wah wah wah
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Im Sorry I Wont Be In Work Today My House Set On Fire And Everything Got Burnt

I cant come into work today because my leg is stuck in the drain outside of my house, and the rescue team haven't arrived yet to get it out.

I cant come to work because I lost the house keys, I'm locked in.

Dave can't come to work today because, I, his other personality has taken over and I dont work.

It is against my religion to work on Mondays and Wednesdays.

I'm just about to reach enlightenment, so I cant possibly come to work because it will disturb my practices.

I'm not coming to work today..... "why not?" ....... because ..... I'm not

My friend can't come into work today because I knocked him out.

im sorry but my eyes are just in bad shape right now. I just cant see myself going into work today.

Sorry boss I cant go to work today because my car keys grew legs of their own and ran off!

Sorry I cannot take the job, When I was but a youngster a wise man told me that there are two days a year that if you work you will surely die. I was so young that I forgot to ask what those two days were and now because of fear I cannot work any day of the year.

I dont have my work clothes so I wouldnt be coming in today

I'm not sure when I'll be in to work...I am in the shower and the shampoo bottle says to, "Lather, Rinse, Repeat." I might be here for a loooong time.

I can't go to work today, because I was painting my house and I drooped paint on the floor and have to put in a new carpet

My arm is too tired to shift, so I can't drive to work today

I don't think i'll be able to come into work today, As i was walking home from work yesterday a wheel came off a passing caravan and hit me in the back. Im bed-bound and can't move.

I won't be able to come into work today because i have to visit my sister in hospital, she had an epileptic seizure as she was holding her baby, threw the baby in front of her which i caught, she then jumped through one of my stained glass windows and landed in my fish pond killing the koi carp. Sorry.

Dear (Who Ever) Im Sorry I Cant Come Work Today As I Fell In My Pond And I Drowned

"I just called to say I couldn't make it to work today. My computer has a virus and I have been up all night cleaning up after and tending to it."

I'll be out today because I got stuck in traffic on the Parkway and I was overcome by the fumes and had to go home

"I only missed the one day but [fill in another persons name ] missed four days in a row and you didn't say anything to them!"

"Oh, you mean it's Next' Monday I have off!!" (Note: must be said with an incredulous expression)

"I couldn't find a spot to park (Note: This is often true at my workplace!) (Editor's note: mine too!)"

"I didn't see the Construction Detour sign so I drove my car straight into four feet of hot asphalt!"

"I couldn't attend the seminar because my friend's cat had kittens."

"I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation."

"I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian."

"My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it."

"The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet."

"I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information."

"I couldn't do my homework because my calculator is solar powered, and it was cloudy outside."

"My internal clock's power went off during the night."

"My house is surrounded by an electromagnetic field that caused my alarm clock to reset itself."

"My psychic warned me not to leave the house today."

A girl that I used to work with said she couldn't get come to work because she'd been abducted over the weekend and needed to recover.

Sorry, won't be in for 3 days. Went to see my sister off on her cruise to Bahamas...darn ship left with me still on it.. Captain refuses to turn back.

I'm going to need to take a couple of day off Thursday and Friday, because the city said I have to clean up my back yard before Monday or I'm going to get a big fine!

I'm sorry I was late, I forgot to look at my watch!!!

My boyfriend hit me over the head with a speaker and I'm kind of messed up.

I don't think I'll be in work for awhile. Yesterday I was riding my son's BMX bike and I fell and broke my ankle it two places and I'm in the hospital.

My neighbor's daughter got a round hair brush stuck in her hair and I need to help her get it out.

A number of different approaches are being tried --- We don't know where we're going, but we're moving.

An extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach to the problem --- We just hired three guys... We'll let them kick it around for a while.

Developed after years of intensive research --- It was discovered by accident.

Modifications are under-way to correct certain minor difficulties --- We threw the whole thing out and are starting from scratch.

Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive --- The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

Test results were extremely gratifying --- It works, and boy are we surprised !

The design will be finalised in the next reporting period --- We haven't started this job yet, but we've got to say something.

The entire concept is unworkable --- The only guy who understood the thing just quit.

We need close project coordination --- We should have asked someone else. Alternate: Let's spread the responsibility for this.

Some truths about life that children have learned

        1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats
        2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair
        3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person
        4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato
        5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food
        6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair
        7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time
        8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk
        9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts
        10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap

        

Some truths about life that adults have learned

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree
2) Wrinkles don't hurt
3) Families are like fudge . . .mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy

Truths about life about growing old

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone

        One of  Microsoft's finest tech's was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.

        The Microsoft tech looked at his rifle and then at the target again. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area: "It's leaving here just fine. The trouble must be at your end!"