Best Divorce Letter!!!
Dear Hubby,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever... I've been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it... But, these last 2 weeks have been hell... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw... Last week, you came home & didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal, & even wore a brand new pair of silk dress... You ate in 2 minutes & went straight to sleep after watching all of your games... You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want anything that connects us as husband & wife... Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone!! Your Ex-Wife P.S.: Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Ex-Wife,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter... It's true that you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been... I watch my games so much because they drown-out your constant whining & griping (too bad that doesn't work)... I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything, if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment... And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago... About those new silk dress: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning... After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out... So when I hit the lotto for $10 million, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica... But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess... I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted... My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me...
So take care... Signed,
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!! P.S.: I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born as Carla (woman).........I hope that's not a problem!!!
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever... I've been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it... But, these last 2 weeks have been hell... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw... Last week, you came home & didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal, & even wore a brand new pair of silk dress... You ate in 2 minutes & went straight to sleep after watching all of your games... You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want anything that connects us as husband & wife... Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone!! Your Ex-Wife P.S.: Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Ex-Wife,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter... It's true that you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been... I watch my games so much because they drown-out your constant whining & griping (too bad that doesn't work)... I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything, if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment... And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago... About those new silk dress: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning... After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out... So when I hit the lotto for $10 million, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica... But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess... I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted... My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me...
So take care... Signed,
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!! P.S.: I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born as Carla (woman).........I hope that's not a problem!!!
